Tuesday, January 23, 2007
New Stuff at IGotNewsForYou.com
IGotNewsForYou has always been a labor of love. So we've decided to make the IGotNewsForYou newspaper page FREE! Now you can create pages for friends and family and send out as many as you like, at absolutely no cost. There is no longer a need to subscribe or login.
IGotNewsForYou is now simpler and easier to use and since launching the free version, we’ve experienced a terrific rise in the number of pages being created and sent. That says something about the Internet experience and expectations. Regardless of how inexpensive something might be, people don’t want the hassle of paying. You don’t have to pay to send IGotNewsForYou pages.
We’ve created quite a few Valentine’s Day stories. Send an IGotNewsForYou page for Valentine’s Day to your sweetie, friend, lover, boss, boy toy, gigolo, sugar daddy, husband, wife or whoever turns you on for something completely different and something that they won’t soon forget.
We’ve received a number of comments regarding the Raunch/No Raunch option. A sender can choose, by checking the appropriate box on the fill in form, if she/he feels her/his recipient might enjoy raunchier content. Some feedback has indicated that a third category might be of interest - an Ultra Raunch category that would display content that is more controversial, bawdier and definitely more “in your face”. Granted these stories and pictures would not be suitable for the under 18 crowd or the more sensitive viewer, but we’re thinking about it based on these comments. Let us know what you think.
We have eliminated the 30-day period in which a recipient’s page was available for viewing and have added a feature that allows recipients of IGotNewsForYou pages to choose if they would like to share their page with the world. Let others see your name in lights!
We’ve been adding new stories and modifying older ones – always trying to be funnier, more satirical and certainly more topical and up-to-date. Had to edit one of our Saddam Hussein stories recently because, as we all know, he is now in tyrant hell and no longer with us.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Home Renovations and the Healthy Relationship
I speak from experience. My wife, aka "she who is always right" and I are embarking on some relatively minor home renos which involve the replacement of two toilets. Now I really don't care what toilet "she who is always right" chooses. I'm sure it will be attractive, functional, match the existing bathroom decor and will fit the appropriate part of her ladyship's anatomy perfectly. I have no input on selection of said bathroom fixture. Nor do I want any. My toilet, on the other hand, or should I say, our toilet but the one that I regularly use, is of course, an issue open to debate. I want one that will flush perfectly every time. That's my priority. I really don't care to spend the rest of my days with rubber plunger in hand, paper towels on the floor and crap flying around the bathroom. I want a functioning toilet. The madam of the house wants one that's attractive. Hmmm...right....ok.
So during one of our many "discussions" about which toilet I will be planting my butt on every single day for the rest of my life, her ladyship "suggested" we get me one of those new low-slung, low-volume, double-flush porcelain cuties. These, she said, would fit the decor perfectly. I think that these crappers might have trouble flushing a ladybug in a kleenex. I suggested that my movements can be quite big and hard and that these pretty little potties might not be able to handle the job. I am, after all, quite proud to say that I have blocked a number of cans in my time. Madam said I should eat more fiber and drink more water. I replied that I hated fiber but didn't mind water too much. She suggested that I flush a few times during the activity. Well, first of all, the double flush button is directly behind one's back on the top of the teensy-weensy tank of the teensy-weensy toilet. You could break your neck trying to reach it while sitting there. Unless you're a Cirque de Soleil Chinese contortionist, a chiropractor visit will certainly be required after attempting this maneuver. Secondly, flushing mid-poop is dangerous to your health. Think of all the bacteria-laden gases being created and blown up your butt during the flush. And what happens if, upon flushing, the toilet blocks while you're on it. Then water and crap is floating real high up the bowl getting ever closer to your butt cheeks and sagging gonads and you can't get up because you haven't quite finished yet. And that would be a good thing compared to an overflow.
When I brought up these very serious concerns, madam said I was being childish. Waaaaaaaa!
Comments? I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Whiny Baby Boomers
In any case, was talking to a fellow boomer the other day...man, was he complaining. Said that after all these years of marriage (and he claimed his was an arranged marriage - arranged by Satan) that it couldn't get any worse. Said he had mentioned to his wife that he wanted to go to a warm vacation spot this winter...she told him to go to hell.
Told me that they both found each other's body somewhat gross and ugly. Said that before sex he takes a Viagra and she takes a Gravol...he wants to make sure he can perform, she wants to make sure she doesn't vomit.
Ah, these are the years!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Technology and my Mom
My brother and I try to visit our Mom once a week and as she's getting on in years some visits can be pretty funny. Last week was no exception.
She was trying to tell us a story and as she can be a bit forgetful was having a bit of a time trying to get the story sequence, plot and characters right. And she was getting a little desperate as she also wanted to maintain our rapt attention.
Well she wears one of these wrist buttons that when pressed start a two-way voice communication session with an organization that will confirm if the senior citizen is ok and if not alert the proper authorities. While trying to recount her story, my dear Mom accidentally pressed on the button and immediately from a little box in the other room a voice called out, "Are you all right? Are you all right?"
My brother and I reacted instinctively to make a dash to the other room to confirm to the disembodied voice that she was indeed ok and had simply pressed it accidentally. But Mom said, "No no, it's ok. It's happened before. Don't worry about it. Let him talk, I want to finish my story."
I love technology and I love my Mom...great!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Humor Business Done Right - TopFive.com
TopFive.com is a great humor site. They publish Top 5 and Top 10 lists -- many of which will make you pee your pants (if you're into that sort of thing.)
They've been around since 1994 so there's some serious longevity there.
They've managed to get celebrities, and pseudo-celebrities to moderate lists (which means deciding which one gets published on any given day) including the likes of Mark Cuban, Pat Sajak (Canadian!), Smash Mouth and Asia Carerra.
TopFive.com has a free service, where you can get lists for free right on the site, but there's also a couple levels of "for pay" (or "premium") services as well, where you get access to bigger lists and archives, and can also start to participate as a contributor/writer.
All in all, TopFive.com looks like a solid humor business, and some of the lists are downright hysterical.
Here are some samples:
Go check out TopFive.com and enjoy a daily laugh!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The Path to Osama Is Through Bobby Brown
Clearly, I'm not as up-to-date on the intersection between world politics, entertainment and the bizarre because otherwise I would have heard much earlier than last night about the fact that Osama bin Laden is obsessed with Whitney Houston and wants to kill Bobby Brown.
It's true. Honest.
My wife told me this last night. It's in the newspaper so it must be true, right?
Let's assume it is true. It seems obvious to me at this point that capturing Osama bin Laden would be easy. Why the US government hasn't thought of this is beyond me. Or maybe they have, and there's a secret ops mission in the works already. I bet the Secret Swiss Cow Militia has something to do with it.
The US government needs to use Bobby Brown as bait. Getting Bobby Brown to Afghanistan should be easy..."they grow LOTS of poppies there, Bobby...it's the #1 source of materials needed for heroin, Bobby. H-e-r-o-i-n."
Ok, so maybe Bobby's more into the ganja than shooting up with heroin, but still. Find a way to get Bobby Brown over there. Give him immunity for anything retarded he does in the future. Just get him there.
Draw Osama bin Laden out with Bobby Brown. Find a way to kill Osama. I don't want to work through all the details and then have really big guys in identical suits named Johnson and Johnson knocking at my door ("You know too much, Mr. Yoskovitz, come with us.") But suffice it to say this seems like a foolproof plan. If we happen to lose Bobby Brown to the cause...well...exactly.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Please Update Your Links to Instigator Blog
The entrepreneurship, business, marketing and technology thoughts went elsewhere. To Instigator Blog.
Many of you have linked here because of the business side of things, because we connected as fellow entrepreneurs, like-minded souls looking for the answers, sharing interests in buzz marketing, small business, productivity and technology. And I wholeheartedly thank you for that!
Those of you that did link here because of that, it would be great if you could update your links or add new links pointing to Instigator Blog.
I'm not tossing this out there to "beg for links" but if you originally did link here for the reasons I stated above, your links may no longer really be appropriate for your own readers, audience and community. Although laughing is always great, I don't want your community to think they'll come here and see stuff about entrepreneurship, when they'll be reading about farting and mad cows.
Thanks again for being a part of my community and letting me be a part of yours.
And if you ARE here for the funny, bizarre and downright silly...then GREAT! Stick around, it only goes downhill from here. *grin*